Life is Great

Homemade Kaya
Makes enough to last you for weeks

• unadulterated coconut milk from 2 coconuts


• 500g castor sugar


• 6 to 7 eggs (use only B– or C–grade eggs)


• 3 pieces pandan (screw pine) leaves, knotted

Filter the coconut milk to remove impurities or shredded coconut bits. In the mixing bowl, whisk all the eggs slightly to break up the yolks. Add sugar by batches and whisk to dissolve. After the sugar has dissolved completely, add the coconut milk and whisk with all the strength you can muster till the mixture is smooth and well–combined.

Bring the water in your double boiler to boil. Slow down the fire till the water bubbles continuously, but no longer boiling. Place the top pot firmly and pour in the mixture. Include the knotted pandan leaves.

Now comes the interesting part. Come hell or high water, you have to continue stirring. Make sure to stir all the way to the bottom and sides of your pot. Yes, you’ll begin sweating and probably swearing, but keep stirring and don’t stop till the kaya slowly turns thick in texture and finally sets into the consistency of what you actually spread on your roti bakar. You will notice the color slowly turning golden brown or green, depending on the quality and age of the pandan leaves.

After this point, the time required to cook the kaya depends on how long you wish to store it. For maximum storage period of up to 4 weeks, cover the top pot and continue to cook the kaya over low flame (water no longer need to bubble) for 4 hours. This is the best approach. If you take the shortcut and cook it for say, only 1—2 hours, by the second week of storage, the kaya you retrieve from the fridge will slowly produce water after it reaches room temperature and is therefore screwed.

Next, leave it to cool and refrain from licking more than what’s left on the mixing spoon. Store in plastic or glass containers and refrigerate accordingly.

Favorites:

1. main entrée: chicken chop
2. salad: fruit, potato
3. soup: clear ABC with chicken bits
4. appetizer: deep fried calamari with Thai chilli sauce
5. dessert: chocolate souffle
6. fruit: persimmon
7. vegetable: cabbage, kailan (Chinese kale)
8. sashimi: beef, yellowtail
9. sushi roll: maki
10. soda beverage: 100 Plus
11. non–alcoholic beverage: Neslo ais
12. alcoholic shot: don’t drink anymore
13. alcoholic drink: refer to no. 12
14. cake: pandan chiffon, chocolate devil, the humble plain butter pound cake
15. pie: blackcurrant, lemon custard
16. ice cream: cookies and cream (Häagen–Dazs), vanilla (Mövenpick)
17. milkshake: chocolate mocha
18. cut of beef: ribs
19. cuisine: Malaysian!
20. part of chicken: drumstick
21. fried food: Cantonese fried kuey teow with beef, Hokkien mee
22. cookie: double dark chocolate chip with pecan (Famous Amos)
23. Indian curry: ground masala sambar
24. gum: Chlorets
25. candy: homemade coconut candy
26. crêpe: caramelized apples
27. sandwich: meat loaf sandwich
28. pizza: beef pepperoni with mushroom and extra cheese
29. Mexican dish: beef fajita
30. Vietnamese dish: Vietnamese beef noodles
31. Korean dish: Korean barbeque and steamboat combo
32. Chinese dish: kung pao chicken
33. Filipino dish: never tried
34. Southern food: shrimp rémouladem, creole beef grillades
35. instant noodle brand: Mamee duck noddles
36. juice: soursop, mango, apple with lime
37. snacks: Kettle chips, Cheesels
38. fish: salmon, trout
39. cereal: blackcurrant and oatmeal (Post)
40. Pho: pho bo
41. breakfast: roti bakar with half–boiled eggs washed down with hot Milo
42. French dish: scallops à la basquaise
43. McDonald’ food: spicy fried chicken, Oreos twister, vanilla ice cream, fries
44. pasta dish: spicy seafood vermicelli (dry and tossed), spaghetti puttenesca
45. bread: ciabatta, buttered croissant
46. tea: English Breakfast, peppermint, chrysanthemum (Chinese)
47. 7–11 slurpies: the green colored one
48. Hershey’s Kisses: Rich Dark
49. flavor of M&Ms: original (especially the yellow colored ones)
50. candy bar: Snickers original